what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
