i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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