Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
