it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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