: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
