it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
