Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
