After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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