i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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