I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
