If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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