Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
