i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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