Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
