i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize