If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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