I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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