it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
