We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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