I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize