The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
