grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think my moral compass just broke
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