Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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