Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
