I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
