I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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