I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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