I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
