why didn't you poke me back
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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