are you still at the devil's house?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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