I want to stick my p in your. b.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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