i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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