Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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