I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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