I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
