he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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