Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
