If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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