Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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