Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
