No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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