Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
