Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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