I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
