Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize
