So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
