this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
