I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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