Welp...herpes.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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