I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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