we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
