in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
