we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
