Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
