It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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