I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
