we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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