thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
