maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
