Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize