one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
