I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My life is pants optional.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
