I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize